#3 Idea: Call Subway And Ask When The Next Train Is Leaving

We’re one hundred percent certain this must have happened at least once in Subway’s history – unironically. Can you blame your Average Joe who is just trying to book an urgent train trip for misunderstanding the real purpose of the company? Become this Average Joe and vehemently insist on getting an answer for that trip that you REALLY need to take tomorrow.

#4 Idea: Call Petsmart And Convince Them Your Fish Drowned

Alright, this might be jumping into “torture poor store employees” territory, but if you make sure to mention at the end that it was all a joke, you may have given said employees some great memories. Ring up a local Petsmart and ask for their counseling. When you get down to the problem, start talking about how you’re certain that your fish drowned. Counter any attempts they may make at trying to put the blame on something else.

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