Significant others come and go, but BFFs are forever, right? Unfortunately, it doesn’t always feel that way when your BFF starts a new relationship. It’s only natural for them to be super excited about their new boyfriend or girlfriend and want to spend all their time with this new person in their lives who’s giving them all the butterflies. But chances are, as their BFF, you’re feeling a little left out — and that’s totally normal.
Missing your best friend when she chooses to spend all her free time with her new person is natural, especially if you’re single yourself and wish you weren’t. At one point, you were each other’s person, and now, she’s hanging out with someone else. Yes – what you’re feeling right now is jealousy and that’s totally okay. But the honeymoon phase in a relationship doesn’t last forever, and there are a few things you can do to make this time a little easier for you and to make sure that your friendship is still in good shape, despite what can feel like a pretty massive bump in the road.
FIND A NEW HOBBY
Now you’ve got all this free time on your hands, make good use of it! You may not be spending every Friday night drinking wine and watching old episodes of Grey’s Anatomy with your bud anymore, but that means you’ve now got the time to start crossing things off your list of “Stuff I’d Do If I Had Enough Time.” There has to be a skill you want to learn or a new activity you’ve always wanted to try. This is the time to go for it. Not only will you (probably) have fun, but you’ll also keep yourself busy and distracted, which means less time hanging around, wishing your bestie was with you instead of her new S/O.
MAKE NEW FRIENDS OR SPEND TIME WITH YOUR OTHER BUDDIES
By now, you’ve probably figured out that having a good group of core friends is essential to surviving life, especially because of situations like this where one of your friends could end up dropping off the face of the earth for a bit. Now couldn’t be a more perfect time to either strengthen those friendships with pals you haven’t seen in a long time or to make some new friends. Remember that new hobby we suggested you start? That could end up being a great way to find new people you have things in common with, and you could end up finding someone you can’t remember living your life without.
REMEMBER TO BE HAPPY FOR HER
Even though your feelings might be hurt — and you’re totally justified in however you feel, because your feelings are important — remember that your friend isn’t doing this intentionally to hurt you or upset you. This is a really exciting time in her life, so be happy for her. You’d want her to be happy for you if the situation was reversed, right? So just remind yourself she’s not doing anything wrong, necessarily, and treat her like you always have.
Text her when your favorite contestant gets eliminated from The Bachelorette, call and ask about her day, and double-tap her new couple-y Instagram pics (even if they make you wanna barf). She’ll appreciate it, and this will ensure your friendship stays intact through this sometimes crappy period. Things will be normal between you two again someday, so do you really want to burn this bridge right now?
BUT DON’T BE AFRAID TO TALK TO HER ABOUT THE SITUATION IF YOU NEED TO
If your friend starts ditching plans you’ve already made for her new S/O or ignores you consistently when you try to talk — especially if something important is going on in your life that you need to talk about — it might be time to sit down with her (in person, ideally) and be honest about how your feeling. You don’t have to attack or blame her, just let her know how the way she’s acting is making you feel. She can get a free pass for being distracted by her new relationship, but that doesn’t mean she gets to be a straight-up bad friend. Talk it out. She may not even realize that she’s ignoring you.
And if you’re patient with your friend, for now, there’s a good chance she’ll remember how understanding you were and pay you back for it later on next time you need a BFF pass. There’s also a good chance that once the newness of the relationship wears off, she’ll be ready to make up for all that lost time — and it’ll be like you were never apart.