5. You should learn about the male body before talking to me about puberty and sex.
You might be thinking that you’ve had kids, so you obviously know about the male body. But here’s a question for you: did you know that the first time a boy ejaculates, there might be blood in it? He doesn’t know that either unless someone tells him. And probably the only thing more embarrassing to a young man than his mother realized that this has happened to him, is his mother rushing him off to the doctor to find out what’s wrong with him only to have the doctor inform them both that it’s perfectly normal.
It may be awkward, but it’s important that you do some research and learn a bit about what a boy’s body goes through when he hits puberty, other than the simple fact that he’ll start growing hair and his voice will crack as it changes. Even more awkward might be talking to him about the things you learn in your research – but someone must talk to him, and you may be the only parent he has. By talking to him, you also show him that you have meant what you told him all these years when you said he could talk to you about anything.
6. Just because I need a man in my life doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
Single moms often feel that they must be both Mom and Dad to their children. In a sense, you are both roles. But the truth of the matter is, there are some things that only a man can really teach or talk to your son about. There are some things that, no matter how open your relationship is, a boy just cannot talk to his mother about. This does not mean you have failed your son as a mother. In fact, the fact that he recognizes the need for a man to talk to is proof that you have done your job well.
It’s a good idea to find some men your son can count on before he really needs them – grandfathers, uncles, significantly older male cousins or siblings, Little League coaches, or family friends are always good options. Another option would be to enroll him in Boy Scouts. Surrounded by boys and with male leaders, he’ll learn from the things they teach as well as that instinctive picking up of knowledge about how men should act.
